Sincerely, Future You - Procrastinate
"What I find is like people are like I'm busy, and things are getting done, but the result that they really want is not increasing". Procrastination affects most of us every day. It lags progress down. But you’d be surprised how differently procrastination influences our entrepreneurs out there.
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Full Transcript
Jessica McKinley 00:00
When something that's productive, but isn't on your schedule is just like easier productivity for you. And if you find yourself doing this a lot, what I find is like people are like I'm busy, and things are getting done, but the result that they really want is not increasing.
Jessica McKinley 00:24
Welcome to sincerely future you a podcast for female entrepreneurs looking to scale their business by mastering their time, money, and drama. I'm your host, Jessica McKinley, founder of what's happening coaching, a life coaching program that helps ambitious women like you make decisions today with the future you in mind.
Jessica McKinley 00:50
Hey, Happters, I typically give you guys a little bit of an intro on what's going on. But I what is going on is that I am so immersed in the winds going on and happening sessions. So I wanted to just start out by telling you a little longer of a story, as I introduce our hipster of the week. Who is Sabrina? Sabrina is in all sorts of transition you guys. And I love sharing this particular during when because this is what it's all about. Sabrina has a goal of leaving her job in August to go full time with her photography business. She's already making lots of money in her photography, business, like definitely a full time salary worth. But she has big goals and wants to more than replaced her salary of her job. And so as the date approaches, she finds herself experiencing more and more negative emotions. And she said to me in our in coaching, that she wanted to drop the pressure of the resignation date, so that she wouldn't spin out. And oh, boy, did we have some fun coaching on this. So many of you tell me about this strategy to remove the concrete goal to remove a date or a deadline or the number, the actual number you want to give yourself a range somehow make the goal softer? Because you believe that the goal is what's creating, you're spiraling. It's not guess what's actually creating it. Your thoughts? I know, shocker. Sabrina discovered that her underlying thoughts were about what she's making it mean about her if she has to push the date. She was so unwilling to feel the failure that her brain's logic was to fail and advanced by not letting anyone even herself know that she was pursuing this goal. It's hilarious, right? But I see so many of you do this, Sabrina saw was what I said, obviously, these coaching sessions are never fun. So shout out to her for even coming to me with this because I'm sure deep down she knew I was not going to have it. And she acknowledged it, she decided that it really was true that her thoughts were what were creating her feelings here. And it wasn't the goal. And if that was the case, she had to decide if she was all in. And she decided that she really was and that she is willing to feel whatever it takes to create her dream life. Now No, I didn't say she felt better after this. No, she's deciding that she can handle the feelings of doubt, and fear and possibly disappointment or failure. And then if if she's willing to feel all of those things, then there really is no downside to practicing believing 100% and her goal. Are you guys, you listeners? Are you able to hold this kind of space for your goal? Can you feel the chilling sensation I literally just got the chills right now just thinking about my biggest goals that I had before I had any evidence that it was possible for me, can you treat your future as a done deal? Talk about it, not just to yourself, definitely to yourself, though, start there. But to other people as if you just know it's done, because you've already traveled to the future spoken to your future self. She said it was done right? With zero proof and also the possibility of failure. Shout out to Sabrina, because this is the work. This is the work that's going to take you to the next level of your business and of your life. And I know Sabrina is just getting started. So shout out to Sabrina. And if you are listening right now and you are a CEO that's operating out of your emotions. In other words, if you're a human, you're gonna want to make sure you're in the day next round of happening sessions, and lucky for you the doors to the next round of happening sessions September 28. Around our opening soon, we are going to be pre launching and selling this June 1 to the third and Oh baby, do you want in on that it is going to be limited space and this round is absolutely going to be selling out. You we're probably going to have to weightless people even from the first round of applications. So make sure you join the waitlist right now we have the link to join in the show notes. Or you can just go right to the website. What's happening.com That's w h@shjppyning.com.
Jessica McKinley 05:48
All right, let's talk about what we're talking about today. And that's procrastination. Let's not just talk about the general procrastination that's so obvious where we throw on some Netflix or we online shop a little bit all of those. Let's talk about the more sneaky ways that your brains procrastinate. Because if you're a listener of the show, you probably are someone who would define themselves as productive, that thinks of themselves as enjoying the action, the work even so, but it doesn't exclude you from the experience of procrastinating. So I want to talk about five sneaky ways that I find my clients who also identify as smart, ambitious women, that they're still procrastinating
Jessica McKinley 06:40
Number one, buffering with productivity. So buffering is just a term that is kind of like procrastination, but where we avoid experiencing negative emotion by seeking false pleasure. And like I said, there's obvious false pleasures that we know we're procrastinating even on we're doing it like if we're like, let me just make a quick snack. Or let me just like I said, Netflix one of those things. But buffering with productivity is the hipsters favorite form of buffering, where they're like, ooh, on my list right now is to write out my exact launch plan. Or I need to hire a bookkeeper. So I need to go through something tedious, whatever it is for you. And then what they do instead is they organize their desk, or they like my client, Helen, from a couple of years ago, this is what I discovered and called out like, you're buffering with productivity to she had a deadline for herself for something for her back pain protocol that we were in the process of creating. And it was an arduous process. Like, I'll give her that. This was hard. She had to think really hard during this time on her schedule. And she didn't have it done. And I was like, Oh, why didn't it get done. And she was like, oh, but and she didn't even seem alarmed, because she was so ready with her productivity excuse. She was like, I painted my daughter's room. And I did this. And I did that. And like, they were all things that were useful to her life. But it wasn't what was on her schedule.
Jessica McKinley 08:26
And I want you to watch out for this sneaky way of procrastinating when something that's productive, but isn't on your schedule is just like easier productivity for you. And if you find yourself doing this a lot, what I find is like people are like I'm busy, and things are getting done. But the result that they really want is not increasing, right, they're not getting the actual result that they want. And if they're not taking that action, but they're justifying productivity, this is procrastination. So I want you to call it out for what it is right now. So that you can start noticing it. Again, the first step is just awareness. And when you're aware of this scene where you're aware that you're streaming Netflix is buffering during the day, if you have something else on your schedule, you'll be aware of it even when it's productive, productive work.
Jessica McKinley 09:22
Okay, number two. Number two is telling ourselves we just don't know how much time something's going to take. This one sounds so innocent coming out of your mouth, you're like, Well, I've never done this before, so I can't really schedule it properly. I'm just going to generally take today to work on my website. You guys I'm using that as an example because that's what I was doing yesterday. I did not schedule working on it. I just had it vaguely in the spot. And jogger. It took me quite a long time because As I your brain, especially you ambitious type A personalities will go all perfectionist on me and be like, Oh, it could be better, it could be better, could be better could be better. And then you're also moving a little bit slower because or even if you're moving fast, it's like frantic energy, because there's no understanding of the deadline. So if you're doing this, it is a form of procrastination, you're not setting deadlines, or you set an end time, but then you make a habit of ignoring the end time. And you're like, Well, I just need to finish what I'm working on. And, again, that might sound like you're doing the right thing. And sometimes I don't want you to get confused. Sometimes we do need to finish what we're working on. But we need to be very clear that we have a deadline. And otherwise, you allow your brain to slow down, you allow your brain to get distracted, if you know, if you knew that you would return in whatever was on your schedule at the end of that deadline. The same way. If a professor was like, Okay, this essay is due at 9am on Friday, and you were like, oh, to the profit professor, like I'm just, I'm not done, I didn't know how long it's gonna take me and I'm not done. They'd be like, tough. Give me what you got. And I'll grade you on that. Right? Like, we don't think that that's weird. So you almost need to treat your deadlines the same way you would treat an essay that you were handing in to a professor. And if that was the case, probably the night before that deadline, or like you said, if you have 15 minutes left on when your end time is, and your phone notification goes off, and you see it's like Instagram someone liked, you're not going to click to that, because you've got 15 minutes, or you've got one day until this is done. Right, you take it so much more seriously, you increase your efficiencies. And without consequences for our brain, we avoid doing we slow down and it creates just a more lazy CEO version of ourselves, not the masterful one that we want. So watch out for that. Number two sneaky version, which is telling yourself that you don't know how long something is going to take, you know, my thoughts about I don't know, I wish I had my keychain right here, but I don't know is not an option. Okay, just decide how long it's going to take. And commit.
Jessica McKinley 12:43
Number three is avoiding the doing with more learning and consuming. So people usually either have problem number one, or problem number number three, either they're the type of person that's like, Okay, I'm just gonna do all the action, and all the productivity things, and they're just doing doing doing, but it's not focused. Or it's not the thing that was on their schedule in that moment. Or they buffer through consuming and learning. So there'll be like, Oh, I really need to grow my business. So I think the best way is for me to do some research. Or I need to like watch more of the modules before I can try this. And I'm like, I'm not saying don't watch the modules that I record. But I'm saying schedule out your time for watching the modules. And still, you want to make sure that the ratio of your week is appropriate in working in the business and working on the business. So what you have to do is fail and collect some failures and go out there and do some doing. But you find that more than 50% of your week is spent consuming and learning, taking trainings, taking courses going and watching videos, and I promise in doing some research, I promise you, you're missing out on the real learning because the learning comes in the failing which requires the doing so this is one of the most common ways that I see my clients. Sneaky procrastinate. They're like okay, yeah, yeah, no, I'm just gonna go watch some videos this week and I'm like no, no, don't watch a single video go out there and fail at this collect five noes make five offers get five noes. And tell me what you learned about that. And then you can watch you can reward yourself with a video right? So if you find yourself doing this, set yourself a mini achievable doing goal on your schedule, and just go out there and feel real feel the feelings by doing okay,
Jessica McKinley 14:57
Number four is have In a vague definition of working on your business, I hear people talk all the time about that they're working on their business, and they're working so hard on their business, but they don't have results. And I'm like, I just don't believe you, you're not working on your business that or you just don't know what working on your business even means. For me, working on my business is my vital behaviors, which if you don't know what that is, go back and listen to the episode that I did on vital behaviors, I'll link that in the show notes. And it's really just about anything, the definition is anything that's going to move my business forward, that's going to make me more money, or help me gain more clients in some way. Right. So if you have a vague definition of it, these are some of the things that I hear people kind of lump into working on their business. So everything to do with social media. So even if they're just on social media to post, and then actually what they're doing is scrolling for two hours, right. So like, they they go to posts, they want to feel inspired. So they scroll for a little bit, and they write a post, and they don't really like it. So they schedule it to be posted tomorrow, and they're going to edit it later. And then they end up scrolling for a little bit. Right. And it's like no results whatsoever. But they call that time working on their business. I'm like, wow, that like must be really fun. Who would pay you as salary to do that? No boss, if you had a boss would pay you to do that. So why are you as the boss of yourself, letting yourself do that and call it work? Okay, so social media, scrolling, everything, social media, all the things that are easy or fun for us. So the things that I'm going to name here are examples of things that I see my clients doing a lot of, and then calling a business. Now I do a little bit of all of these things. But if you're doing a lot of it, it's you're doing it to procrastinate. So one is networking. That's is fun to some people, to me, included, I love networking. But if I'm going to three or four networking events a week, and I'm not doing the doing in the following up with the people that I've been networking with, and connecting and making sure they're guests on my podcast, or, or making an offer for them to be a client of mine, then the networking is a buffer, and I'm calling networking on my business posting. People do this all the time. They're like, Oh, my goal is to post three times this week. And I'm like, okay, and then what? Right, so just notice if like, all of you're working on your business activities are one thing, and they're not creating results that you want. You can do these things, but you need to constantly change one aspect of it in order to get a different result. It's like Insanity, right? The definition, doing the same thing and expecting a different result. But for some reason, we think like, and I'm guilty of it, too, right? I know this is a very triggering episode for a lot of you progressed, sneaky, productive procrastinators out there. But it's so important to be aware of so that you can start getting results. That's the whole point of listening to this show, right? Taking trainings, getting coached. Like I said, the consumption, it can be easy to be like, Oh, I'm working on my business. My mastermind has a bajillion courses and old videos that I could watch, but you don't see me in there watching them all the time. If I specifically want to learn something that has a video on it, I schedule it in and then I make sure that I scheduled not just the consumption, but the action attached to the consuming. What is the point? What did I want to learn, so that I can go and apply it. And if you're just doing the learning, we want to make sure that you call yourself out and at least tell yourself the truth. Okay, so that's really step one is being aware of what your version of this working on my business lie is. And then step two, tell yourself the truth about it. I'm not even saying you have to stop doing any of it. But it's like, don't start calling it working on your business. Call it oh, I'm buffering right now. Call it I'm procrastinating by going to a networking event. Try just saying that out loud. When your partner asks you where you're going, and you're like, Oh, I'm going to procrastinate tonight. Have fun with watching the kids. And just see what kind of reaction happens there. And so that way, you really feel the discomfort of it so that you eventually will make a change or just cut it out. Right Okay, whichever is the better method for you.
Jessica McKinley 20:02
And then number five favorite way to call people out on sneaky brain procrastination is making to do lists. Now know how I feel about pretty to do lists, I don't allow for to do lists we do to be scheduled lists. And the difference is, is one is the step one, like the Part A, and A T B s list implies that you will be scheduling what is on this list, and once it's on your schedule, you will be doing it it is as good as done. If you find yourself constantly being like, oh, my gosh, I have so much to do, what should I do, let's make a list of all the things I have to do. This is a sneaky way to procrastinate. I'm not saying that we don't need to get our actions out of our brain we do. But if you're doing this constantly, or if you have many to do lists, or if you are in a phase, let's say of small blocks of time that you're trying to build your business in, or let's say you're, you're a you have your young kids at home, and you only have an hour right now, because they're napping, you do not want to spend that hour making a to do list, I would so much rather you spend the hour, say two things in your brain that you know you need to do and just do those two things. And then once your kid gets up, or when they go to bed at night, and you're not really working, make your to the scheduled list, then and then schedule it right I this to do list garbage. It's like society's biggest procrastination secret disguised as productivity, it's not productive. Okay? Even if you'd like checking it off the to do list eventually, and it feels really good. This is not a sustainable and masterful way to be a CEO.
Jessica McKinley 22:00
Okay, I know there are people out there who are going to disagree with me vehemently. But I'm calling you out, I promise you that if you drop these five things, you are going to be so uncomfortable that you will have to take action, and you will start getting major results in your business. And then that's going to feel uncomfortable. And you're going to need to get coached on that. And then you'll come and finally join happening sessions What is even happening if you're listening to this if you're not inhabiting sessions. So, as a reminder, go get on the waitlist, click on the link in the show notes. Or make a voice memo to yourself if you are driving, that you need to get on that waitlist so that you can start receiving all of the information in details about joining so you do not miss it. I don't want you missing it. If you're getting all this juicy details. I want you to be able to apply it. I want you to be in the container and in the room that guarantees or your money back. Masterful CEO status more time, more money. And a fun time doing it more peace, right.
Jessica McKinley 23:17
All right, you guys. I hope you have a beautiful weekend. It is gorgeous, gorgeous here in New York. And I think next time I talk to you guys, I might be married. I don't know what day it is when you're listening to this. But my wedding is coming right up. I haven't talked about there's so much going on in the hipster worlds that I haven't talked about this in a little bit. But I'm so excited to you know, make things official. I mean, that seems so silly, but really, I'm more excited to celebrate with our friends and family. And to just celebrate our love. Like what a fun thing to do. That is definitely a societal thing that even being divorced. I just love a romantic wedding. I love it. I love it so much. So if you don't want to have major FOMO of like, oh my God, what did her wedding look like? Which you will because I'm going to be talking about it afterwards. You want to go and follow me on Instagram because I will definitely be posting over there so you can follow me at what's happening WGS? Alright, you guys have a beautiful weekend and I'll talk to you next week.
Jessica McKinley 24:32
Hey Happters. If you want to learn more about today's topic, head over to what's happening.com forward-slash podcasts. That's what's happening. podcast that's what's happening w-h-a-t-s-h-a-p-p-y-n-i-n-g com forward slash podcast if you're a business owner and you're resonating with what we talk about here what are you even doing come hang out with me over where the party's at on Instagram at what's happening w jets again that's happy h-a-p-p-y-n-i-n-g and book a discovery call to see if coaching is your next best step