Is "FUTURE YOU" A Fantasy?

Episode 115 Sincerely, Future You - Is "FUTURE YOU" A Fantasy?


What would need to happen in order to create your goal? That's the high-quality question. That's going to help you create the future math. Coach Jess breaks down why your future self is not just fantasy. Here, Coach Jess explains why we dream, how we should reevaluate plans that don’t go as planned, and how we can use our fantasy and math brains as a combo.



Sincerely, Future You on Youtube



Full Transcript

Jessica McKinley 00:00

We all want to land there on paper, we want to land in our dream life, like Elon Musk, or Warren Buffett or the Kardashians or whoever you look up to titans in their own level of success. So far out of the norm that feels crazy. But the process of getting there requires playing with numbers, and realities that most people aren't willing to sit with.


Jessica McKinley 00:29

Welcome to sincerely future you a podcast for female entrepreneurs looking to scale their business by mastering their time, money and drama. I'm your host, Jessica McKinley, founder of what's happening coaching, a life coaching program that helps ambitious women like you make decisions today with the future you in mind.


Jessica McKinley 00:55

I got guys, how are you today? I hope you thoughtfully answer that question in your brain, I hope you just decide that you are stupendous. So you get to decide how you are at where your brain went to answer that question. To go to your house, did it go to what your circumstances are of the day? Or are you deciding to believe that you're awesome, right? Because I definitely am deciding to just believe that I'm awesome even though I'm really struggling to even stand up because the baby is getting so big that it's like I can't stand up myself. Someone asked me how I am I could be like, higher, I could be like, I'm in pain. I could be like, a little overwhelmed by the idea that there's gonna be a new human here, right soon. All those things are equally true. You know what else is true? And I'm just like, so fortunate. Also, what else is so true that I'm so I'm feeling so badass right now, the way that I've showed up in my life. She's so fun. So anyway, decide how you are today and decide to practice being awesome.


Jessica McKinley 02:13

So I wanted to catch you up on what's been going on with me over here. I recently I don't know how many of you guys know but I have another business. I loosely call it a business because it's really more a nonprofit, we're not filed as a nonprofit officially because it was actually going to like cost us more money to enroll as a nonprofit than it was to just give away our money. Oh, government. But anyway. So we have an I have co-founded a company called moguls have the infinite opportunity. And it is a network of women business owners who have a giving consciousness of some sort like they have a giving spirit or they've given component to their business, or they have a giving heart. But usually, often these same women struggle to see receiving and giving as equally valuable. So we bring these women into our community, and we all lean on each other. And then we help remind them that receiving is giving that giving is receiving and then we help remind them that giving can be profitable to get we don't give at the expense of ourselves. So you should definitely check out this organization. You can follow us on Instagram at moguls underscore of underscore infinite underscore opportunity, all the underscores. And yeah, or you could also find that through my normal Instagram at what's happening WGS. But we recently did a little pop-up market are giving we do a giveaway every month, there's an annual membership to be a part of the community and all of that money goes back to towards the members in some way. And this, we were seeing a lot of our members were spending a lot of their money and a lot of their expenses were going towards investing in these pop-up markets as for them to be vendors and we were like, This is silly, we should just rent a space for the moguls to have a pop-up market. So we did and it was so great. And we had 14 vendors, I believe, and we all just showed up and sold our faces off and I feel like we're able to really relax into it. Because the expenses were not like looming overhead. They felt like oh, okay, I could just come and I could just serve. And I watched that and it was like, Oh, this is so interesting because I think that again, last week we talked about the math getting in the way of what you're making your gap to go mean. I think that a lot of these women maybe use the math against themselves because I was like people were selling Like it was way more natural to them than in a lot of cases. And so I, I enjoyed just watching them I also shopped my face off for Mother's Day. And they were just they're so talented these women like, of course a giving spirit in business is just also going to go with a person that's just so gifted and talented and just has so much to offer the world. And these products and services are just amazing. I bought so much I'm just I can't wait. So you can also check my Instagram to see what I bought because they posted all about it. Some of it was like food and it's already all in the bellies of my family. And then we some of it was like clothes, some of it was gifts for Mother's Day. So so great. Go and check out and you can shop the moguls also directly on moguls of infinite opportunity. to.com you can shop the moguls so that you if you have a holiday coming up, you can be like, Oh, do I, I want to shop local, I want to shop women-owned I want to shop small, you can't guarantee that you're doing that if you go and shop on Amazon, right? I want it to be more convenient, though. Because to be honest, the reason people shop on Amazon is that it's convenient. They know that they can go and have a one-stop shop. And they don't have to search on Instagram through hashtags like hard to find a business that they actually want to support that is a giving business. Here we make that easy for you. You want to shop women, Oh and if you want to shop a business that you know stands for values that align with yours, go to moguls of infinite opportunity.com. That's where I do all of my shopping now. Amazing. So today we're going to be talking about something that's been a question. Oh, it's 1111? Just thought I would say it's probably not when you're listening. But if it is, that would be so creepy. Oh my gosh, double luck for you. Okay,


Jessica McKinley 06:58

so people ask me this question in a variety of different ways. But you know that I am a big proponent as a hybrid life coach and business coach of tapping into two very opposing, I think of as very complementary forces in your brain, the fantasy brain and the math brain, your future focus brain, and your numbers dialed like, let's get it brain, right, your present facts, your factual brain. So people are kind of asking me, okay, I want to be forecasting for my growth, I want to definitely use my future self. And I want to tap into that. But I also want to make sure that I'm not being delusional like I want to be responsible. So a lot of my clients are resistant to the Future Focus thought work, because they believe exactly that, that it's irresponsible. You don't want to live in Fantasyland or be delusional, they want to be realistic. Now, I hate the word realistic, but I empathize with the thought error. It's business. After all, we need hard numbers. And I agree. So let's use math. Just future math.


Jessica McKinley 08:20

What would need to happen in order to create your goal? That's the high-quality question. That's going to help you create the future math. That's where Natalie and I when we did our episode, my bookkeeper, I'm gonna link to that episode in the show notes. We talked about how the accounting that she does for me the bookkeeping, she does for me includes both the past, but all of the decisions that we make are informed by the future math path that we've set up the future math path that was a bribe intended, okay? So we create the goal, we decide what we're going to do, and we create some sort of guest Action Plan, or breakdown of how that's going to come in, in the months leading up. Right? And, but it is future math. And then we look at the math month to month and we evaluate it so that we can reposition and do the actual what you would say like use your math brain to do the work that needs to happen to make sure that we don't fall behind. So your fantasyland level, imagination is essential to a big life. And most people's unwillingness to play there is why most people don't have big lives. So I attract a lot of people who are like, okay, the very minimum I want to tap into my dreams in some way. Like I want to dream bigger. There's got to be more than this. But the don't want to feel silly or wrong or failed, or step too far outside of what the crowd says is realistic. And that is the problem. We all want to land there on paper, we want to land in our dream life. Like Elon Musk, or Warren Buffett, or the Kardashians, or whoever you look up to titans in their own level of success, so far out of the norm that feels crazy. But the process of getting there requires playing with numbers and realities that most people aren't willing to sit with. So are you when we dream big?


Jessica McKinley 10:42

And when do we dream big? And when do we do the math? Such a good question that I needed to episode that I need to answer in an episode. So here's the essential answer. You dream to set your airline. The airline is of course referring to the model, which means you dream to set your results to create the results and outline the results that you want for your life. Whether that's the amount of money that you want in a bank, whether it's the amount of hours you want to work in your week, whether it's the house you want to live in, whether it's a partner you want to be in a relationship with, you set your goals from Fantasyland, as I give you full permission. Elon Musk, like what he dreams up, it sounds ridiculous to people, the things that he like come up with people are like, Oh, he's just like, I'm willing, I don't care how it sounds to you. I live in fantasy land. And then I go and do the math. Okay. So step one, start with your fantasy brain, go all the way there, then you get to work in the real world doing things you guess might create them, essentially, you collect failures, then you get to the end of the timeframe in which you are measuring this. So there needs to be a measurement component of pursuing your dreams. If you're just generally pursuing it, your brain is not going to let you get uncomfortable enough to create it, I promise, you need some sort of timeline. Okay? Then when you once you've done the work, you get to sit and evaluate and reflect on those failures. Now, here, I give you permission to distance yourself from reality again, because the reality in your brain is that I didn't create it.


Jessica McKinley 12:46

I'm not a success, right? Like those, those things aren't real. But your brain is telling you Well, we haven't created it. So and it's making it mean that gap to goal means something about you again, we talked about that last episode, are you making your gaff tickle mean something about you? We don't hear we get to just distance yourself from reality again, and just look at it, evaluate it. And we got to just like decide, okay, how do I want to reposition? So when we're evaluating, we don't evaluate in the sense that of these numbers aren't real. We never, we never ignore the math, we just get to decide what we make it mean about the timeline of creating your dream results. When you set a goal of 200k and q1, to make 24k. You make 24k we reassess the plan, not our belief in our dreams and our goals. Right, I had this happen as well, I part of my plan to creating 250k was a 75k launch that I was going to be doing twice a year. And my actual launch the first time I launched it did 44k. So it was short, right? I didn't reassess my belief in my ability to make 250k. I just reassessed the plan. And I decided what I was going to make it mean, if I, how could I do this without hustling? Right? I had to ask high quality questions there. So when I don't hit a goal in the present, I just choose to double down on the time I spend in my future. How fun is this? Where the memory of this failure? It's kind of funny, even though right now it feels painful. The same way like if someone dropped your $1,000 wedding cake, it would suck on the data. But then it would be turned into a classic funny story that you guys laugh about on your fifth wedding anniversary. We're like, wasn't that crazy? We spent so much money on this cake and then someone dropped it like, it becomes kind of funny. We can do that same thing with our future like once you've made the 100k Who cares that I made 44k In my first launch of the group instead of 75, who cares? Actually, it's almost better because then I kind of know, oh, I had to adjust for the failure I had to account for, I had to use my brain more, I became more valuable in the pursuit of this goal, because of the failures that I would have. It just worked out the first time. Right. So to recap, these are the times when you use your fantasy brain versus your math brain.


Jessica McKinley 15:30

Number one, you use your fantasy brain to set the goals and the dreams, you make sure that you are dreaming big, that you are not limiting yourself that you are using words that resonate with you. And not just because your family said that was a good goal or society said or you know, you read it in a book, or you saw it on Instagram, or Tiktok, whatever people are watching these days, Okay,


Jessica McKinley 15:59

number two, you use a combination of your fantasy and your math slash reality, to guess the action plan. And what I mean by that is like you are going with whether I'm doing it with my bookkeeper, or whether I'm doing it with myself, or whether my clients are doing it in the monthly failure collection plan, or whether you're doing it in your daily schedule, you are using a combination of like, okay, what are the hours that I have? And what are the numbers do I think this is going to add up? And also getting really creative? And like, How can I work less hours and make more money? Using high quality questions that take you outside of what you're currently believing is the the math of the way that things are done, right.


Jessica McKinley 16:49

And then number three, is we use math to track it. So this is the part where you just use your math brain, okay? We do not ever avoid math. That's why I believe so firmly. And you need a budget because it requires you to look at numbers daily, regularly. And then it makes you really comfortable and neutral about the numbers. And then for you use a combination again of your fantasy brain, and your math brain to evaluate and reposition.


Jessica McKinley 17:19

We were talking about this where your yes, your fantasy brain is the part where you give it permission to redirect to the future where you're saying, Oh, well, it'salready done. And your brain is gonna be like, That's not done. It's not done. We don't see the evidence, where's the evidence? And you're like, oh, evidence was in the past in the future. This is done. So that's kind of like that fantasy brains skill. But then you use the math to evaluate and reposition and say like, Okay, what now? I did 44k towards 250k. What's the new plan for this month? How am I adjusting for that? Am I willing to make less in the short term? What what does that mean? Right? And so that could be a whole nother episode with how I made those decisions. But really, I wanted to let you know, because it was such a good question. When do you tap into that dreamer to that big life? Future brain skill? And then when do you just get to the math of it? So I hope this was helpful if you have any other specific questions with when to use your math brain or your fantasy brain your imagination, please. Yeah, I've been calling it fantasy brain I guess imagination was probably a more widely known word for this. You please just message me or, or write a review on the podcast or DM me on Instagram shoot me an email any of those gems. As you're listening to this, the deadline to apply to enroll and happening sessions is just around the corner. So if you are not yet on the waitlist, go to what's happening.com and get on the waitlist so that you are notified so that you can be one of the 15 women that make more money and have more time by the end of the year. Like who doesn't want that Emmys immediately and more emotional control. Alright, you guys have a beautiful day.


Jessica McKinley 19:19

Hey Happters. If you want to learn more about today's topic, head over to what's happening.com forward-slash podcasts. That's what's happening. podcast that's what's happening w-h-a-t-s-h-a-p-p-y-n-i-n-g com forward slash podcast if you're a business owner and you're resonating with what we talk about here what are you even doing come hang out with me over where the party's at on Instagram at what's happening w jets again that's happy h-a-p-p-y-n-i-n-g and book a discovery call to see if coaching is your next best step


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