Sincerely, Future You - Life Coach Jessica McKinley Uyeno
Today marks the 3rd Annual Letter to Myself reading, a transformative experience to remember the woman I was and who she became.
Let’s write together at the Not Yo' Mama's New Year's Resolution: 8th Annual Letter to Yourself Workshop: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/638e44f9e23bcf78aedfe9b6
Watch on YouTube:
Jessica McKinley 0:00
Today in this exercise we're going to drop into our body and what we're feeling today, that is the present. We're going to describe the present moment in all its senses. How do you feel right now? What is the weather like outside? Where are you sitting? What's your current focus, your worry, your joy, your itch, a specific place to return to next year. That's what we're documenting. We're going to be so detailed that you're instantly transported back when you read it next year, remembering how your pants fit that day and the bitterness of the coffee that you drink. It's unimportant whether on this particular day you feel light and optimistic or heavy and anxious. Because I've done these letters from both places, and I can tell you from experience, they're equally transformative.
Jessica McKinley 0:54
Welcome to Sincerely, Future You a podcast that helps ambitious women like you make decisions today with the future you in mind. Hello, Happsters. I love hate recording these things a little bit in advance, because today is one of my most favorite episodes that I record every year for the podcast. I've been recording since 2020. So this will be the third letter to yourself episode that we have. And it is just so special. It if you have been following me for a while you might be showing up today to the workshop that we have a live workshop, if you don't know what I'm talking about. Make sure you just go and register even if you can't make it live. If you're listening to this real time, you want to register for this wet this workshop. It's it's not your mama's New Year's resolution. It's like New Year's resolutions with a twist, where we write a letter from signed, sincerely future you. And it is kind of a culmination of everything that this show is about. Here we are at the end of 2022. Or as I'm recording this, of course, I've got a couple of weeks left. So I'm kind of cheating, opening my letter from last year, a couple of weeks in advance, but it'll kind of be a cool experience, because typically, I'm opening it on the last day of the year. And I don't really have any time to still contribute to the goals and know whether I've hit them or not. So I'm gonna read this and still have a couple of weeks left, which will feel really fun. So a random human milestone. That's how I think of the the end of the year. It's a way to categorize the infinite, both completely insignificant, and also deeply telling. A year is a snapshot that shows us the sum of our thoughts and our feelings and our actions. And as we cross over this invisible benchmark hamsters, we pause to write this letter. So like I said, go to the show notes or the link in my Instagram biota register and join us today at 1pm. For the free live workshop, where we're going to be writing our letters together, letters signed, sincerely future you how fun. This is the eighth year doing this practice long before I even had a podcast with that title. But looking back, this letter was really the start of me accessing my full self, the meat of the past, the present and the future. And here's how we're going to talk about it. Today. In this exercise we're going to drop into our body and what we're feeling today. That is the present. We're going to describe the present moment in all its senses. How do you feel right now? What is the weather like outside? Where are you sitting? What's your current focus, your worry, your joy, your itch, a specific place to return to next year. That's what we're documenting. We're going to be so detailed that you're instantly transported back when you read it next year, remembering how your pants fit that day and the bitterness of the coffee that you drink. It's unimportant whether on this particular day you feel light and optimistic or heavy and anxious. Because I've done these letters from both places, and I can tell you from experience they're equally transformative. Just remember describing the present is not a place for judgment. It's a time for you to neutral, neutrally. Observe and recount. My coach likes to call it as like going into the watcher, part of your brain where you're watching yourself explore Your hands the world. And all of that is valid. It's kind of like if you're watching, if you're a parent and you watch your kid experience a negative emotion, you don't have judgment of them having that emotion, you just kind of have compassion for it, you're just like, okay, they're feeling angry, or they're feeling sad. It's all good, then we're going to honor the past year. So in this letter, you're going to honor your accomplishments, you're going to document your oops and oshit moments, you're I have no clue how I'm going to do this moments that you inevitably figured out, we're going to take measurements of what you've earned, saved, spent had invested and gave all six areas of money management, we're going to note anything that you want to grow or shrink, and where you're at, personally and professionally. And we're going to acknowledge how far you've come until now. This is going to be the concrete diving board off which you launch into becoming future you. We need the facts, we need the facts. So you don't just spend another year and the dramatic story of your life. And unless it's good drama, of course, and which I'm here for that, like dramatically. This was the best year ever, anything that feels an emotion that's useful to you. It's fascinating to me how quickly my brain puts a bright side filter on the past, actually. So my brain tends to think things like I did so much better, or I did more or deeper, harder. Things last year, my brain likes to think things were more aligned or settled or easier or more abundant last year, I even go so far as to think I hit more of my goals last year. Notice those are all thoughts, and not facts. There's just so many different ways for us to interpret our years, or growth or lack thereof. And we want to find the truest most useful way to interpret it. And that's why I like to put math in this documentation of the past in our letter to ourself. This is my brain, my brains tendency, that bright side filter to look at the past and future with less problems, your tendency might be the opposite. To look at the past as worse or the future as more daunting. This exercise is just going to have help us snap back into the emotional state of our bodies each year, and get back to the math of what our lives were each year factually. And then for it the magic, we're going to expand into future you, we're gonna kind of time travel, it feels like to the moment and 2023 when you've already done felt and believed everything that you set out to do. And more. This is where you get to access a skill that most of us abandoned in our childhood, my favorite skill, her imagination, we're gonna go through different areas of our life and stretch what's possible for us, we'll, we'll stake our claims we're gonna get a little wild and crazy, and then we're gonna drop into that body. We'll experience what she feels like having done all of these things, having gone through the training, the constant failure collection constraint, the emotional upheaval and learning that it took to become her will acknowledge that you have today and how grateful future you is to her for doing the hard work for believing hard in future us before we had any evidence that she was possible. You'll celebrate as her and beam with pride and even maybe teach yourself something. Give yourself the pep talk that only future you can give. Okay, deep breaths because I'm going to open and read my letter. I never know what's going to come up. So let's do this together. And then I'll read you a few snippets of past letters. Okay, here it is. If you guys are watching on the video, I have my letter to myself says a letter to future Jess opened to be opened December 31 2022. So notice you're writing it from the future, from your present to your future self from your future self. It is kind of a trip but you'll understand it once you go through the process. And once you hear mine a little bit Okay, here we go. Dear future Jess. I actually wrote mine on January 2 of 2022 this year.
Jessica McKinley 9:41
At this very moment, it is impossible not to notice and cherish how amazing Marcus. Mark is my husband. Calvin has been waking up at night and Mark takes turns bringing him back. The boys get up and play in the morning to let me rest if I need it. Their relationship is so special and full of love. This year was filled with some of the best and worst days I've had a true year of 5050 year. Here's a list of some things that tested us. I had a miscarriage. Pain I didn't understand before. I had eight weeks of terrible nausea. I just ended at week 13 about I got COVID. And on day nine of my 10 day quarantine Mark got COVID. So we had to continue our quarantine for another 10 days and had to miss Calvin's birthday. And we had to miss Christmas with him. And I had to go 18 days without him. And I cried for about eight of those days. That truly was the biggest test of parenting so far, even through all of the divorce that not seeing him for that long not being able to squeeze him not being able to see him on his fifth birthday was quite a challenge. I intentionally decided not to sell in November, December and I missed out on hitting my goal of 200k. instead to focus on my most important goal, which is my health and my rest and the delivery of my business rather than just the growth of it. 2021 accomplishments and new self concepts. I became certified as a Life Coach School coach, I became pregnant with my daughter. And I wrote is she the most amazing because when I wrote this, she wasn't yet born. She is the most amazing. invested in two rounds of the 200k mastermind I went to Cabo and made all of that happen. I really fostered an incredible, incredible co parenting relationship with Dustin and I watched as my husband Mark and the father of my daughter and my ex husband Dustin, the father of my son started to form mutual respect and a relationship themselves that is really focused on our like, large blended family. I really I we bought our first home in Garden City, which felt like a dream and still feels like a dream that I live here didn't feel like a town that would ever be within reach for me. financially. I just thought of it as like the town where this is gonna sound really funny coming out of my mouth, but the town where CEOs lived. But to me, when I thought that I never thought I would be that level of CEOs like I thought like CEOs of Fortune 500 companies traveling back and forth to Manhattan. That was the image that I had. But I'm a CEO and I live here too. And I belong. So fun. I traveled to Cabo, Austin, California and Florida, mastered my time spent lots of time in self care each day and week, created the six areas of Money Mastery and then lived it by example before I began to teach it. And that I focused on earnings. So in 2021 I earned this is where some of the math comes in you guys I earned 163k in coaching, plus some Beachbody personal income still, that I just continue to accumulate from years of doing that. Then that's passive income, I reckon, recommend that everybody create a passive income stream in their life. It's lovely. Number two is saving. I started my first Roth IRA. Something that I think a lot of entrepreneurs alike stress over when they're transitioning into full time entrepreneurship from if they're coming from corporate is letting go of a 401k. But you can use a Roth IRA, it's lovely. A I set up an acorns for some investing and I saved for two masterminds. Number three spending I mastered, really mastered you need a budget and started to teach it to all of my clients. I balanced my business personal short term and long term spending down and I also will say that part of that included paying myself a salary for the first time investing I invested 50k In masterminds. I invest in scholars which is another coaching program specifically for life, not just business and invested in my team I hired podcast producers Christine and previously in 2021, I was working with Danny now I work with the lovely Celine, my assistant Janelle And my bookkeeper Natalie and I invested in coach accountable, which is the portal program that the hipsters love. And it has helped me keep everything in one place and way more organized. Love that investment. Number five, having so this is the year we will focus on having December 2021 was a lesson and having without selling, which was really hard and also rewarding. Like I mentioned, I was really, really sick at the end of 2021, pregnancy, nausea, and then COVID. I was like throwing up nonstop. And so I decided not to sell. And I just had to focus on what it felt like to have without earning and spending as my solution to feeling stability with money. And it was such a test. And we survived it was pretty great, actually. And like I said to I began and transitioned as an entrepreneur from just operating where I would spend and take owner draws kind of whenever I needed to, for my personal life to deciding on a salary for myself and paying myself a salary from the business and the rest of my income and my earnings staying within the business as business assets. So that was a huge transition. And then giving moguls of infinite opportunity was a nonprofit that started in 2020. But in 2021, it really kind of took shape. And moguls has been a very rewarding experience. And we also maintained personally Mark and I $50 a month and giving which was just a starter habit that I wanted to do. I threw a $3,000 hipster retreat that was just unpaid that I did for all of my clients and just felt so so fun. I gave $1,000 worth of holiday boxes from one of my clients Joy box to my clients and I sponsored a family of three kids for Christmas, which felt lovely. Now, as far as other things, notable things from 2021, I was a guest on The Life Coach School Podcast, episode 359 With my idol and mentor, Brooke Castillo. And I also printed an annual report for 2021 numbers. And I'm going to do that again for 2022 to put in this letter for next year. So that I just have a good report of what my numbers were over the year how my balances grew and what what the full, p&l Picture profit and loss. Last year, we became someone who invests 10s of 1000s of dollars a year in herself, and know that it will always return with interest, I became in demand in my brain, which that thought created the result of me being in demand. But 2022 is all about creating demand with by belief, clarity and value without trading dollars for hours, about honing in on time, money and feelings in a way my clients can concretely win. So here are some goals we crushed in 2022. And notice I wrote this at the start of 2022. From the perspective of celebrating all the goals that have crashed now let's just see how many of these I actually showed up to
Jessica McKinley 19:00
we created 250k in revenue. Now this is really funny, because we're not at that right now. I think we're at about 180. And there's still plenty of time left because as I'm reading, not as you're listening to this, I don't know where I'm at in terms of revenue, I imagine will be at around 200k which will be great and lovely. But I what I first thought about this with my bookkeeper at the start of December, we did our reporting and I was like, Oh my gosh, like I I've been hitting my goals. And this is the first time that I feel like I'm not hitting it revenue wise and she was like, What are you talking about? You've never hit your goal. We looked at it. And my goal was 100k and I did 76 And then my goal was 200k last year and I did 173 or 163 It says here but I prayed side filtered it And in my brain, I was like, Oh, well, pretty much did it, I pretty much did it. And it's the same thing. My goal is to under 50k, we'll probably end around 200. And it's like, in my mind, that's a rounding error. Right? Because I'm still doing all the things that I wanted to do. So let's just see, I'll, I'll see if I can add maybe in the show notes that the edited number of revenue so that you guys can just really hold me accountable to what that number was that I finished the year at. But it's, it's so important to set these goals ahead of time because you're not going to accidentally land on it. We moved from one on one to group coaching, ah, that was done. Wow. It's crazy to think that it's only been a year. But at the end of last year, I didn't have a group program at all happening sessions wasn't what it is. And now I have only group coaching. I mean, I have a handful of one on one clients, I decided for 2023 I'm going to remain having five one on one clients. I really do love working with entrepreneurs scaling from multiple six figures to a million. And so I think I'm going to hold that space there for them a while I have developing that group coaching program, which is coming. But we moved fully from one on one to group coaching, take eight weeks of maternity leave, boom, did it track my workouts and my books. So I have to see exactly how many books I read. But I remained part of my book club and read a book every month. So at least 12 Set quarterly goals and monthly calendars which I do I schedule regularly. I also started doing a monthly calendar for my personal life that goes up on their fridge and that's been really helpful for everyone. As we'd have get all the kids things appointments, do three launches via email did that oh my gosh, I remember writing that down and being like, this is going to be such a big deal and I'm like just what we do should we do we just launched get outside daily with Mark Calvin and daughter. I don't even think we had the name for her yet because it was just freshly a girl we didn't even know till take a babymoon we did we went to Mexico City which I didn't have planned when we when I wrote this hit top 50 podcast list on entrepreneurship and 100k downloads we are not they're not even close that's one that was a failure collected home wanted to finish my vintage style kitchen we did if you want to see it you can go to my Instagram account I have a separate Instagram for our house home rentos which is just just like for fun for Mark and I because we do a lot of DIY projects at home so that is basic home No way No. How it's called basic home. No when was my last name? No you y e n o how? And then where did we go oh finish the fireplace. We're still in process but the fireplace is going we just got a custom mantel which is gorgeous from a woodworking company family run family owned around here we like picked out the slab of wood from a tree and like he made it it's just beautiful. And then Zen nursery which is so beautiful which we had a mural painted by one of my now clients who wasn't a client then art by Marnie B. She did a whole mural in Mary's room. It's so beautiful. Hire a monthly housekeeper. I don't even remember writing that down, but it's done. I've never had a housekeeper in my life, you guys, and I don't have her come that regularly. She comes once a month sometimes once every six weeks depending. But it's just nice to when you have a bigger house. It's a five bedroom house. It's like I would rather be spending my time doing a lot of other things that cleaning my house and 2022 back under 140 pounds, which is what I think I got pregnant I weighed that. And I actually weighed myself this morning. I think I'm one 40.9 So still a couple of weeks left, easy peasy. Speak Spanish speak Spanish every day and always with Spanish speakers. I will say that I did not. I did not speak as much Spanish as I would like to so that's definitely going on my letter for are for 2023 as Mari starts to find her voice. This year, we became a new woman, we deepened our belief in our ability to do everything and anything we put in our thought line of the model. We showed our clients how to never be busy, to be broke, or to be confused. Again, we loved Mark Calvin, and our new incredible daughter and our self with every molecule. You were willing to be uncomfortable, patient, tired, selfless, selfish, judged, wrong, embarrassed, disappointed. And whatever else it takes to grow and to get your dream life. If you're reading this and you're tired, if you're lonely, or blue, know that this is temporary. Life is long, and you've got an exceptional team supporting you. Keep fueling your mind, body and soul with only the good stuff. TQ, which is what Mark and I used to say to each other stands for take Yeto your former less wise but more rested self. It's true, she was so much more rested when she wrote she knows what having a baby is like. So that's it, you guys. That was my letter from myself last year. Now, I want to hear from you. If you like I said, if you're listening to this in real time, we're gonna write our letter to future us. And from future our future self. We're gonna write that today. I cannot wait. So beyond that webinar, like I said, we're gonna send the replay to all registrants even if you can't make it live. And I want to hear from you. What is in your letter. What number letter is this? I like I said, I've been doing this for eight years. And I have so many of you who reached out around this time of year or tagged me in the post of you guys reading your letters. And the ripple effect has been so fun. Should I create a fun bank of participants like document all you guys who do it and award for number of Letters, written futures aligned with your letters. I'm bursting with ideas right now. And
Jessica McKinley 27:12
I want to hear your thoughts what random quirky big things are in store for you in 2023. I love to feel the impossibility of it as I write something down the pole and then that would be nice. That's how I know it's worth pursuing. It's worth becoming. That's how I know that I'll be sitting here next year in all of myself. That's how I know I'm living my big life. This isn't the time to play it safe. If you're feeling stuck with what to write in this letter, reach out message me on Instagram at what's happening. W Jess, that's what's happy. h a p p y n i n g w Jess and leave a review here on the podcast. One of my 2023 goals that future jest is just reveling in is having 105 Star podcast reviews. Not just ratings, but like actual words I want to hear from you are you going to be a part of me hitting that goal, when that'd be so fun. Finally, after writing this letter, you feel n if you feel en fuego, that means on fire. But not sure how to hold yourself accountable when it feels tough. Throughout the year, go old school and get on the damn phone with me. Here are three ways for you to take how you're feeling from this moment and convert it into accountability for next year. Number one, go to the link in my show notes. Go number two, go to my Instagram bio or number three, go to my website, www dot sincerely future you.com and set up your 20 Minute discovery call. This is a no strings attached call that I offer once per person to see if coaching is the missing element of becoming that future you. I think that the word life coach is kind of vague AF and I want to clear up any questions you might have. And just find out whether it's a match for you and for me. And I also think it's important that I read you a couple of snippets from previous years. So those of you who are just starting and this is your first year doing this letter to yourself. You understand that no matter where you're starting, it's the perfect place to start. Because sometimes I started and it was really not that pretty recounting the year. And or the day that I was writing from was really tough. I think this one I'm not going to read the exact words. Because it's very personal. And I just said today was a weird day. It's New Year's Eve and you woke up on the couch to the sounds of your ferrets being restless at 9am Even though dealing with this situation can be stressful you will get but knowing that no matter what you will not let what you cannot control, determine the fate of your marriage interfere with your destiny for greatness or impede your happiness and gratitude for everything that is an amazing in your life. And then I wrote down some things to be grateful for. And this is just funny because I, it's so important to have the math reading it back, said, one of the things I was grateful for was I earned my biggest weekly income today in Beachbody and it was $310. You guys, I was celebrating $310 With tears in the same way, like in a bigger way than I'm even celebrating being almost at 200k for the year, which boils down to about, Gosh, I don't know 1000s of dollars a week. And it's just it's important to have the perspective that the numbers don't create the emotions, your emotions are created by your thoughts about those numbers. And those thoughts are totally optional and up to you. I talked about how my dad invested in what's happening in my business. And I invested that money in my very first coach. And as well as in like a course on how to run a blog, which was way back in the day. I had plans to travel a lot to La Dallas, St. Thomas Paris, Spain and Nashville in 2016. And one of the things that I wrote down in this letter was kind of like, I want to wake up with a child, I want to wake up, then and the next when I reading this letter, I want to be a mom. And I was like literally I was holding my child when I read this letter on video. And that felt so far away. To me, it felt kind of impossible. So write down the things that feel impossible for you. Wherever you're starting, I just I wanted to read a little snippet of any of these letters. Because what you don't understand yet is that future you is so much more capable than you are and that's by design that's on purpose. Okay, you have to be practice failing and feeling big time for a year to become her. Of course you could couldn't handle today what she can handle, but you will. And you're about to start connecting with her get really, really specific about the things you want, even if it feels silly to write down and then just drop into her body and how it would feel if you really had that life. All right. So I hope you have the most magical year. Happy new year. I can't wait to grow with you and the new one. Happy New Year happster. Take care.
Jessica McKinley 33:27
Hey Happsters, if you want to learn more about today's topic, head over to what's happening.com forward [slash] podcast. That's what's happening. W h a t s h a p p y n i n g [dot] com forward [slash] podcasts. If you're a business owner and you're resonating with what we talked about here, what are you even doing? Come hang out with me over where the party's at on Instagram [@} what's happyning w jess. Again that's happy. H a p p y i n g and book a discovery call to see if coaching is your next best step.