One of the best and hardest parts of our twenties is the part where we grow up. It sounds boring and full of annoying responsibilities like:
Fixing your drain problems when hair clogs it up
Learning to be politically correct
Changing a flat tire
Balancing time with family, friends & IN LAWS
And truthfully, that’s part of it; but the more elusive part is deciding who you want to be now that you are independent from your parents and high school friends. What does Adult You look, sound, and act like?
Being an adult is not just an age milestone – it’s a series of choices. Here’s a great way to get started on shaping your adult self.
Make a list of your biggest weaknesses. Are you too sensitive or insensitive? Are you flaky or unreliable? Are you messy or unhygienic? Are you disrespectful in that way where you think it’s a hilarious joke but everybody looks at you like dude, WTF? These things don’t have to define adult you. The first step is being self-aware. The second is putting on your big girl/boy pants and taking actions to change.
Make a list of the things your parents/others still do for you. (Ex. Pay your phone bill, house you, do your laundry, wipe your ass, etc.) It is very difficult for people to take you seriously as an adult when you still rely on your parents for your basic needs. I’m not saying you need to pull the rug out from under your feet if you are fresh out of college and trying to find a job. What I AM saying, is that if you are over 25, living with your parents rent free, and have no IMMEDIATE plans to dig yourself out, you will NOT get the respect you deserve. Do yourself a favor and make your #1 and 2 priorities to move out and become entirely financially independent.
Make a list of role models & copy them. Think of the adults you know that inspire you. Someone who commands respect and is a total badass. My list is REALLY long but includes: my parents, Oprah, Jack Canfield, and Marie Forleo, to name a few. Once you have your list, think about the qualities they have that you particularly admire. Ex. My mom is positive and energetic. My dad is a hard worker and believes nothing is impossible. Oprah is passionate about teaching and paying it forward. Jack Canfield is an author inspiration of mine, and has outlined The Success Principles that I use daily. Marie Forleo is a badass business owner that has mastered the line between being professional and completely inappropriate. Now, work with that. Adult me is: positive, energetic, hardworking, a teacher, a great writer, a badass business owner, a professional goofball, and an abolisher of the impossible. Put these words up where you can see them and make a conscious effort to emulate these qualities in everything you do.
Educate Yo’self You are new at this whole adult thing. You are bound to have a million questions and the dumbest thing you can do in adulthood is NOT ask them. Be curious and seek knowledge. For some a simple but incredibly insightful (and hilarious) lessons in growing up, I recommend you read Kelly Williams Brown’s bestseller, Adulting: How to Become a Grown-Up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps.
Growing up doesn’t mean you turn into Captain Hook. You are still Peter Pan. You’re just a more responsible, more independent, and more respected version of Peter Pan. Also, you’re not Peter Pan. What qualities does Adult You have that you never did? Comment below!
