Experiments

Love & Sex Experiment #2: Pose for a Boudoir Photo Shoot

I love starting out with a fact. So here is one: you are not getting any younger! What??? That’s harsh! I thought this blog was supposed to make me happy! Well, yes, but the kind of happiness I want you to find is not going to come from simply READING this blog. You have to take action! 

Inspiration and motivation is only worth the action that it incites. That’s why I stress the importance of EXPERIMENTING as a means of exploring happiness.

 

In fact, I am about to drop $250 on today’s Love & Sex Month experiment even though it kind of terrifies me, and here is why:

Back to my first point – you are not getting any younger.

Since starting my happiness journey, I have become very intentional about what I do with my time. I was discussing this “carpe diem” mentality with my girlfriends on a three-way phone call (yeah, we’re bringing those back) when the conversation shifted to the theme of the blog, which at the time was “Body Month”.

My friend Alissandra said that she couldn’t agree more and that when it came to her body, she knew she also wasn’t getting any younger. She is a very confident girl but admitted that she wonders about how sexy she will feel when she is 80 and her body is not the same as it once was. If I had to guess, I’d still say that she will probably have a pretty healthy sex life for a senior citizen, but she brought up a good point.

“I feel sexy at this age, and I want to remember how I look now before all of the stretch marks and wrinkles. A friend of mine had a Boudoir Photoshoot done and was thrilled with the results, so I decided to do it as a gift for my boyfriend…. but more so for me!”

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@vixenphoto

Whaaaattt!!!??? 😯 I had never heard of anyone I know actually doing this and was FASCINATED by the idea, albeit a bit nervous. Come to find out, my other friend on the call had ALSO had a Boudoir photo shoot taken! I felt a little bit prude that I was the only one on the call that was uneasy at the thought of posing in a sexy way in front of a stranger, but as a woman of research I knew I needed ALL the facts before I could make my judgment.


A Summary of Alissandra’s Advice for Your Boudoir Experiment

Better Safe Than Sorry!

“My two biggest concerns were that A: The pictures would somehow get out or posted on social media and that B: My boyfriend would have an adverse reaction to it and be upset that I did it.”

To avoid these things happening, she suggested the following:

  • Research your photographer! Make sure he/she has a portfolio that is legitimate, with reviews or references. Ali was referred to her photographer through a friend.
  • Consider a contract. All professional photographers should have a contract that outlines what exactly will be provided and how the shoot will run. This is to protect your interests and the photographers. **This is where you tell the photographer whether or not you want your photos appearing in their portfolio.**
  • Know your partner. If these photos are for anyone other than yourself, make sure that you trust this person exclusively, and that in the case of a split, your photos wouldn’t be compromised. Also, consider whether or not your partner would feel uneasy at the thought of you being photographed in this way. Some people may want a female photographer.

    boudoir_916boudoir

    @916Boudoirphotography

Getting Prepped, Feeling Sexy & Looking the Part

“I had to drink half a bottle of wine before I was remotely comfortable doing it. [laughs] So, my advice is… have a glass of wine, or two… or three.”

  • Keep it Fun! Lots of photographers provide wine, but some don’t allow it. This is a fair question to ask beforehand. Photo shoots are meant to feel like a party. You should feel your most comfortable, so bring your own music and props!
  • Research Inspiration. Depending on your style and your partner’s turn-ons, your shoot style will vary from classic to raunchy. Go online and pull inspiration. Search #boudoirphotography on Instagram or even search Victoria’s Secret. Send your favorites to the photographer so they can best capture your style. If the pictures aren’t a surprise, you should see what kind of photos your partner likes and send those as well.
  • Hair, Make-up & Wardrobe. When you look your best, you will feel your best and it will reflect in your confidence and in the final product. Cherie Steinberg of the “Boudoir Café” advises investing in professional hair and makeup. She also suggests you “…ditch the old stuff and play with the element of surprise and fantasy with bras, panties, garters, etc. your [partner] hasn’t seen before.”

Alissandra’s Conclusion

“I am SO glad I did it and would actually like to do it AGAIN! My boyfriend LOVED them too. Also, in the pictures I’m curvy and myself, not at my thinnest or anything. And that’s one of the things I love about them. It’s me. And I don’t look at them and think ‘Ugh. I have to get back in shape.’ I look at them and think, ‘This is me and I’m beautiful and curvy and sexy.’ I’m so happy I have them forever.”

@robertovillarv

@robertovillarv

The “big picture” point is this – feeling sexy is about more than just having sex and being hot. It’s about looking at yourself in the mirror and feeling confident and proud in your own skin. I wholeheartedly believe in the power of visuals and I think that having these pictures of yourself that you can admire for the rest of your life is a priceless tool that will help empower you….and simultaneously give a little boost of passion to your relationship! Share any tips or questions you have about boudoir photography in the comments below!

Love & Sex Experiment #1: Discover Your Love Language (Bonus Quiz!)

No, I am not going to read your palm. No, I am not going to tell you that your moon rising is the reason that you haven’t found Mr. or Mrs. Right. This post is not a mystical theory and it’s not going to change anything about you or your partner. It WILL however, make you realize why your girlfriend maybe doesn’t give you praise when you buy her flowers. It will also explain (more…)

Career & Money Experiment #4: Crush Your Limiting Beliefs About Money

Looking for a 4 Step experiment designed to help you take what’s holding you back from building your fortune and turn it into fuel for success? Oh, perfect. Coincidentally I just created that exact thing for you! You’re welcome in advance.

1. Identify Your Limiting Beliefs. I don’t know about you, but I remember hearing lots of negative expressions about money growing up.

  • Mo’ money mo’ problems
  • Money is the root of all evil
  • Money doesn’t grow on trees
  • Money corrupts
  • Money can’t buy happiness
  • Rich people are selfish and materialistic
  • Extremely wealthy people are extravagant and ridiculous

Before starting my research for Career & Money month on the blog, I didn’t think I had any limiting beliefs. But, now that I have made a point to improve, I realize that I have subconsciously held myself back from reaching my full potential.

I have never linked happiness to money because I know both rich people and poor people who are happy. I also know some very unhappy rich people and poor people. I literally interpreted the expression “Money can’t buy happiness” because I associated money with the purchase of “things”. Money wasn’t a motivating factor for me because my happiness wasn’t attached to very many tangible things. I was never big into shopping, didn’t have dreams of owning an expensive car or a mansion, and always preferred a backyard BBQ to an expensive night out. I thought that my modest lifestyle would give me everything I desired and that money couldn’t buy me any more happiness.

Then I caught the travel bug and sponsored a child. These things became a huge part of my identity and holy shit, are they expensive. This is where part two comes in.

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When I think about travel and all the good that comes from exploring, my limiting beliefs about money disappear. Morocco 2009

2. Find the Flaws in Your Beliefs!

I fought hard to maintain that I didn’t need to make a lot of money to make all of my dreams come true. Being a millionaire couldn’t be a part of my identity. It conflicted with who I wanted to be. Didn’t it?

limitingbeliefs  

3. Flip your Limiting Beliefs. #oppositeday

These are the limiting beliefs from part one exposed to tell the whole truth.

  • Mo’ money mo’ freedom to take on all that you desire.
  • Money is one root in my tree of happiness.
  • There is PLENTY of money to go around, but you won’t find it on trees. It grows out of hard work.
  • Money empowers you to make more choices.
  • Money can’t buy happiness, but it can contribute to it.
  • To be rich is to be the fullest version of yourself. If you are struggling financially, you have a ceiling on your happiness.
  • Extremely wealthy people are free to build the life of their dreams without limitation.

4. Create your new core belief about money.

I bet you just realized that you have some beliefs about money that is limiting you in subtle but profound way. Are you ashamed to make more money than your husband for fear of hurting his ego? Are you afraid that your family or friends will judge you if you choose to make money one of your desires? Whatever it may be, take a second to analyze your beliefs and break through the ceiling that you’ve constructed to limit your financial success and ultimately your happiness.

My new core money belief EMPOWERS ME!

Money gives me the freedom to be wildly generous, truly spontaneous, and build the life of my dreams without limitation.  -Jessica McKinley

Do you have any limiting beliefs about money? What is your NEW core belief about money? Share in the comments below!

Career & Money Experiment #3: Smarter Networking

We all know that when it comes to landing a killer career, it’s not just what you know, but WHO you know that matters. The word “networking” can sound a little overwhelming. Personally, when I hear the word, I think of a room full of peddlers and sales booths or an awkward “blind business date” with a family friend who gives advice rather than connections. At the very best, I think of the cyber capital of networking, LinkedIn.

Since I haven’t advanced my career or landed an interview in any of these ways, I didn’t know how to advise you guys when it came to a networking strategy. So, as per usual, I tapped into my pool of Business Gurus, and in a culmination of their advice and some research, The Smarter Networking Experiment was born. (more…)

Career & Money Experiment #2: Contact a CEO

Even if you have all the weapons for success in your twenty-something career (brains, talent, drive, etc.) you are bound to be lacking in one area of your professional arsenal: experience. The most efficient way to make up for that deficiency is by stepping out of your comfort zone and reaching out to the most experienced role model you know, a CEO! This experiment is the application of one of my Happiness Fundamentals: Seek out your gurus. By working alone in the pursuit of your career (or any other arena of your life, for that matter) you are putting a ceiling on your potential. You are going to have to start training yourself to take these kinds of risks if you want to get to the next level of your career, and quickly!

Reasons to Reach Out to a CEO

1. These people have a proven track record for success. Whether your (more…)