I love starting out with a fact. So here is one: you are not getting any younger! What??? That’s harsh! I thought this blog was supposed to make me happy! Well, yes, but the kind of happiness I want you to find is not going to come from simply READING this blog. You have to take action!
Inspiration and motivation is only worth the action that it incites. That’s why I stress the importance of EXPERIMENTING as a means of exploring happiness.
In fact, I am about to drop $250 on today’s Love & Sex Month experiment even though it kind of terrifies me, and here is why:
Back to my first point – you are not getting any younger.
Since starting my happiness journey, I have become very intentional about what I do with my time. I was discussing this “carpe diem” mentality with my girlfriends on a three-way phone call (yeah, we’re bringing those back) when the conversation shifted to the theme of the blog, which at the time was “Body Month”.
My friend Alissandra said that she couldn’t agree more and that when it came to her body, she knew she also wasn’t getting any younger. She is a very confident girl but admitted that she wonders about how sexy she will feel when she is 80 and her body is not the same as it once was. If I had to guess, I’d still say that she will probably have a pretty healthy sex life for a senior citizen, but she brought up a good point.
“I feel sexy at this age, and I want to remember how I look now before all of the stretch marks and wrinkles. A friend of mine had a Boudoir Photoshoot done and was thrilled with the results, so I decided to do it as a gift for my boyfriend…. but more so for me!”
Whaaaattt!!!??? 😯 I had never heard of anyone I know actually doing this and was FASCINATED by the idea, albeit a bit nervous. Come to find out, my other friend on the call had ALSO had a Boudoir photo shoot taken! I felt a little bit prude that I was the only one on the call that was uneasy at the thought of posing in a sexy way in front of a stranger, but as a woman of research I knew I needed ALL the facts before I could make my judgment.
A Summary of Alissandra’s Advice for Your Boudoir Experiment
Better Safe Than Sorry!
“My two biggest concerns were that A: The pictures would somehow get out or posted on social media and that B: My boyfriend would have an adverse reaction to it and be upset that I did it.”
To avoid these things happening, she suggested the following:
- Research your photographer! Make sure he/she has a portfolio that is legitimate, with reviews or references. Ali was referred to her photographer through a friend.
- Consider a contract. All professional photographers should have a contract that outlines what exactly will be provided and how the shoot will run. This is to protect your interests and the photographers. **This is where you tell the photographer whether or not you want your photos appearing in their portfolio.**
- Know your partner. If these photos are for anyone other than yourself, make sure that you trust this person exclusively, and that in the case of a split, your photos wouldn’t be compromised. Also, consider whether or not your partner would feel uneasy at the thought of you being photographed in this way. Some people may want a female photographer.
Getting Prepped, Feeling Sexy & Looking the Part
“I had to drink half a bottle of wine before I was remotely comfortable doing it. [laughs] So, my advice is… have a glass of wine, or two… or three.”
- Keep it Fun! Lots of photographers provide wine, but some don’t allow it. This is a fair question to ask beforehand. Photo shoots are meant to feel like a party. You should feel your most comfortable, so bring your own music and props!
- Research Inspiration. Depending on your style and your partner’s turn-ons, your shoot style will vary from classic to raunchy. Go online and pull inspiration. Search #boudoirphotography on Instagram or even search Victoria’s Secret. Send your favorites to the photographer so they can best capture your style. If the pictures aren’t a surprise, you should see what kind of photos your partner likes and send those as well.
- Hair, Make-up & Wardrobe. When you look your best, you will feel your best and it will reflect in your confidence and in the final product. Cherie Steinberg of the “Boudoir Café” advises investing in professional hair and makeup. She also suggests you “…ditch the old stuff and play with the element of surprise and fantasy with bras, panties, garters, etc. your [partner] hasn’t seen before.”
“I am SO glad I did it and would actually like to do it AGAIN! My boyfriend LOVED them too. Also, in the pictures I’m curvy and myself, not at my thinnest or anything. And that’s one of the things I love about them. It’s me. And I don’t look at them and think ‘Ugh. I have to get back in shape.’ I look at them and think, ‘This is me and I’m beautiful and curvy and sexy.’ I’m so happy I have them forever.”
The “big picture” point is this – feeling sexy is about more than just having sex and being hot. It’s about looking at yourself in the mirror and feeling confident and proud in your own skin. I wholeheartedly believe in the power of visuals and I think that having these pictures of yourself that you can admire for the rest of your life is a priceless tool that will help empower you….and simultaneously give a little boost of passion to your relationship! Share any tips or questions you have about boudoir photography in the comments below!